I felt like puking out the little food I managed to eat over the last three days. I didn’t catch a proper wink since I heard about you. I suddenly realised that that’s exactly how you became every single time Aaama, Anna and Pednanna went on a vacation and left you at my place. You used to break your hunger strike after a day, when I sat next to you, lovingly held you and fed you by hand; and things would be mirthful again, paradise lost and paradise found, all it took was a rasgulla or an ice cream and sometimes even a chapati. Now that you’re not around, the box of Haldiram’s rasgulla kept on my table or a Belgian choco chip ice cream or even basic food, are not helping me break my strike. I think I lost my paradise, and this time, you’re not around to help me find it again.
Rasgulla reminds me, I’m sorry about all the times we stole your rasgullas. I know you were cursing us in your small little head. But you’re our brother, right? Sharing and even stealing are a part of our relationship. I hope you understood that. We were selfish when it came to food, maybe we were the wicked ones, and you the truly innocent and silent victim. Hence, I would like to thank you for all the times you quickly gobbled down the yolks of the boiled eggs that Himavanth and I discarded at you, before Ammamma could catch us.
Catching reminds me, you were one ambitious dog, Bono. You wanted to catch hold of the rats, the cats, the frogs; you wanted to chase cars, and basically race ahead of whoever was walking you. There were so many times you cleverly made me trip and fall and ran away with your leash; and those were the very same times you made me realise the amount of love I had for you; I had to run behind you, it was a matter of life and death, you couldn’t be lost, or we would all be lost. Like we are now.
You had been around for sixteen and a half years, Bodi Bono; that’s more than half of our lives. The kind of love, care and affection that Aamma, Anna and Pednanna gave you is commendable. But more than anything else, what you gave them back is probably something words can’t do justice to. Like I’ve been saying, you were, are and will always be the love of our lives, the most special person (yeah, you mean more than most people) that happened to us. I know not too many people understood you, you barked at everybody and hardly let anyone even come close to you. In retrospect, that was the best thing about you, you never tried to impress anybody, you just gave all your love and your hate to the few people you thought were deserved of your affection. And this is where I can’t thank you enough. Thank you for letting me into your small but beautiful world, thank you for giving me your love, your hate, thank you for snapping at me every time I annoyed you, and more than anything else, thank you for being such a major part of my life. You taught me to endure hatred that comes out of love, you taught me about unselfish but self-ascertaining love, you taught me lessons on getting over fear and chasing what you love; because you were always there, loving me back, in your own ways. Growing up without you is simply something I can’t imagine.
It kills me that we had to send you away, you didn’t want to leave us even at that age, your resolve to be with your people was so strong. But it’s for the good, I guess; because the least one could do for everything you’ve done for each one of us over all these years, is to not let you suffer any longer. I hope at least you’ve found your paradise, wherever you are.
All my love,
Lasya/ the person who would give anything to pull your furry little tail at least one more time